To My Most Dear Wife on Her Birthday

To whom it may concern:

It is with much appreciation that I send you this missive. This is to formally notify you that I have placed your name in consideration with the Nobel committee for the annual prize for perseverance. Also known as the Sisyphus.

In the past this award has been given to those unique members of society who have walked upon this earth with a level of commitment and dedication, a sense of purpose and cause, unknown to the rest of us. Sacrificing every last fiber of their being for the benefit of others in need. And God knows, you have been saddled for nearly half a century with one in dire, almost mythic, need. Hour after hour. Day after endless day.

I have sent the committee a video of a typical 24 hour period in your life. They have, at first, questioned the authenticity of the submission as they found it virtually impossible that anyone could be subjected to this level of constant demand and still survive. But then they contacted a number of our friends and relatives who not only confirmed the truth of what had been provided but suggested, to their minds, it did not fully and adequately portray the hardships you endure.

When you were but a young woman I know you could not have imagined your future as it has unfolded. When we first met, you must have envisioned an existence where you were not required to carry me on your shoulders and clean up the mess I left in my wake. Where you were free to carry on, to accomplish as you intended, without constraint or impediment. Maybe in the next life.

Whatever the outcome of the Nobel, you will always be deemed a winner by me for still attempting, after such an unfathomable passage of time, to roll that boulder up the mountain.

Your loving husband and constant pain in the ass