The "I Don't Give a F..." Tour - The Nightmare Comes to a Not So Imagined Town Near You- A Tale of Almost Complete Fiction, Maybe
WHAT THE WORLD IS LIKE THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS
On a recent day, somewhere, almost anywhere in the US
He enters the stage and peers out, squinting and placing a hand above his eyes.
"Wow, will you look at the size of this crowd. I mean Biden couldn't draw a crowd this big if he was handing get out of jail free cards to all the illegals in this state. I mean, he gives old age a bad name. A really, really bad name."
"You don't want to hear some boring crap about this plan or that, do you?"(with that he fakes a very exaggerated yawn)."Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, thank you, good night" (he pretends to leave the stage, takes a few steps and then turns around, a smile on his face). "No, you want to listen to me being me, don't you?" (with that, there is a round of thunderous applause).
"I could just read off this teleprompter" (he points in its direction with a disdainful scowl) but that's not what I am gonna do tonight. In fact, take this damn thing away" (the crowd yells, almost apoplectic now).
"I dare any of those losers, you know the ones in those phony debates that no one watches or cares about, to stand before you without their little teleprompters" (he fakes like he is scared, cowering in a corner, and sticks his thumb in his mouth, like a little baby). (The crowd is on their feet now, everyone high fiving anyone in reach).
"You see, we know the truth about all of them, Biden and the other Dems who don't give a damn about any of you, who just want you to shut up and go away so they can hand out money and jobs to those who come to America to rob you, so they can steal your votes, so they can shut me up. Well, I am not going anywhere and I am not gonna let them do that to you." (he stretches out his arms to the audience, and then starts pointing to them, left to right and back again, as if he is speaking to each one of them directly. (The crowd is now in a frenzy, screaming at the top of their lungs).
"Make no mistake, they are after me because I am the only thing, the ONLY thing, standing between them and you. The only thing, the ONLY thing, keeping you in your homes, keeping you safe, keeping them from taking your guns, from taking away the life you worked so hard for" (he fakes like he is being led away in handcuffs, his legs in chains).
"You know, I could have been living an easy life, I have more money than I could ever spend, more houses, more buildings, more golf courses than anyone else. But I knew you needed me and I was not going to abandon you. I was going to do what I had to do to protect you. And f u to anyone who tries to stop me."
"And so they come after me with their charges, their indictments and they think that is gonna make me weak, make me go away, make you turn away from me. Well, let me tell you, they don't know me and they damn sure don't know you."(the crowd is now chanting his name, chanting ever louder so that he has to wave his hand after a full 3 minutes to quiet them down).
"This is America. And in America, in the REAL America, we tell it like it is. I don't pull my punches. I never have and never will. If a Judge is corrupt, I am gonna tell him to his face. If a prosecutor is an ass, I am gonna call her an ass. I am not gonna take anyone's crap and I am not gonna let them sh.. on you. Because, make no mistake, they want that more than anything else. ANYTHING else."
"So I stand before you today with a single promise. They will not take this country away from you. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever. Not on my watch."
"They have really, really screwed things up since they stole the election. I mean inflation is wild, your money means nothing. They have made us look weak, look scared. Do you think for a minute these wars would have happened, that this damn mess would have happened on my watch? Never. Never. And the day I am President again all this stops. With one phone call. It ends."
"America can be great. The greatest. But not with slow Joe at the helm. Not when it is weak in the knees. Nobody messes with us when we are at our best. And we are only at our best when I am the one calling the shots. When I show the world we mean business. They know it. And I know that you, each and every one of you, know it. Let's make America what it can be. What it is meant to be."
"God bless you and God bless these United States of America." (the crowd erupts, the wild applause and chanting going on for a full 10 minutes after he leaves the stage).