Stick a Needle in Me

So my back and leg have been yapping at me for a couple of months now.  Physical therapy has surprisingly not been the panacea as in past battles. Grumpy my default response.

Yesterday, my wife suggested I try another option: acupuncture. It was a what have you got to lose proffer. Anything, I am sure she was thinking, was better than listening to me gripe for another unhappy minute.

The problem was she had never been to an acupuncturist, I had not, and neither of us had the faintest idea of who in God's name was to be entrusted with my body as a pin cushion. 

After using my lifeline calling a learned friend on the yin and yang of doing this, I committed to this undertaking. The first revelation: this was not covered by Medicare. The second: there are a lot of acupuncturists in this town.

Who was to pin the tale on this donkey? Well, there is a commercial office in the bottom floor of the building in which I reside. And guess what service is offered there. Proximity tipping the scale.

Is it a worrisome sign when they say there is an opening in 15 minutes? Before I had a chance to reconsider, I found myself lying face down chatting with some gentleman I did not previously know as he proceeded to stick small needles over much of my body, from above both ankles to north of my equator. With a maximus focus on my gluteus.

I am not a stomach sleeper and remaining with my head facing the earth, through a small hole in the table, was not my idea of nirvana. But, 30 minutes later, neither having experienced much pain nor pleasure during this procedure, my new friend reappeared and de-needled me.

Had he unlocked the secrets of the universe, released whatever demons had to be dismissed for the discomfort to dissipate? Was I a convert? Was I cured?

The jury is out. It is a little hard to tell, lying here at 5 AM after a night resting on my laurels, how this sits with me. But I am no worse for the experience, and willing to give it another shot, so to speak.

So, this ass may soon report back to you on its (my) state of the union and whether the pins and needles in my foot vanish after a few more needles are pinned to me.  

But, when I request the next appointment, should I be concerned if the office advises that their calendar is wide open?