Putin Applauds Trump for Invading America

Vladimir Putin recently sent the following note to President Trump:

Dear Comrade:

Again, congratulations on your astounding victory. There is no need for you to thank us for our contributions to the cause. As always, it was truly our pleasure.

I am amazed at how much you have accomplished in but a few days back in office. You have successfully replicated, and might I even suggest, in some aspects surpassed the usurpation of power that took me years to amass in my own country. You have convincingly demonstrated to the world that a democracy is only as weak as its worst leader.

I have ordered my military to stand down in their preparations for invading America. You have already done a most thorough job at demoralizing and disorienting half your nation and throwing your entire system of government into utter chaos and confusion. You are certainly the role model for how to send a failing democracy to its grave without a single shot being fired. I have underestimated your remarkable capacity for internal destruction.

Please come for a visit sometime soon. I will show you my plans as to the countries I intend to invade as soon as Ukraine, with your most able assistance, is wholly annexed to Russia.

And give my best to Melania.

Your BFF,

Vlad