My Sickness

So, as many of you know, I spent the last few days in the hospital. Thankfully I was paroled yesterday afternoon and am now firmly clinging to the comforts of my own home. But how, you may ask, did I while away the hours in captivity?

I would venture to guess that the poor nurses who were tasked with attending to me had never experienced a patient such as I no matter the length of their career. For, I kid you not, in short order decided to subject several to listening with rapt attention while I read a number of my blog posts to them. I was not just ill. I was very sick.

I mean this one poor lady, after making me comfortable at 2 AM, and giving me some medication, made the unfortunate mistake of entering into polite conversation with me. When I advised that my nights were always uneven and that I often ended up writing my thoughts on nothing of import to anyone and everyone within eyeshot, she innocently asked of the particulars. That was her Waterloo.

A half dozen posts now came flying out of my mouth. My victim stood there, clearly wondering how to call in sick for her next night's shift. Here she was, diligently trying to keep my spirits up and she ended up in the pits of Hell.

Lest you think she was my only prisoner, think again. Over less than 48 hours, two others also were forced to question their choice of career. In my unquenchable thirst for attention and adulation I had almost singlehandedly destroyed the morale of this wonderful staff.

Maybe my most egregious act was in reading my last piece, about my time in their confines, to one of the nurses on duty. She was so captured by my lunacy, she made me forward it to her and she promised (threatened) to circulate it among those who still remained in the hospital's employ despite my best attempts to make them reconsider their life's journey.

I was not well for a few days, but thankfully it appears the worst is (excuse the double entendre) behind me. However, my time in this facility only reinforced that I suffer from an incurable disease: bloated ego syndrome.