My Father's Day Present

I am drawn to being a father, and now a grandfather. It has always been in my DNA.

I am not saying I am any good at it. God knows the laundry list of my missteps and failures along the way litter the universe. I know not how to discipline, how to create any distance between what should be my position of authority, or at least the vague outlines of it, and their role, however that was intended to be defined. I am definitely not the one called upon to create calm out of chaos or order out of confusion. In truth, I am far more often hindrance than help.

But that does not diminish my fervor for my assignment. Life is never a straight line. And my family, like all others, has felt tremors, has experienced times that brought  inevitable pangs of distress. We reside in a universe where we must, to survive, sometimes temper expectations, often accept good as good enough, and occasionally even less as enough, or if not enough, at least enough for now. But I do not try to run from these moments, for it is really then that I am most engaged. That I can provide, if not immaculate guidance, at least a full heart's measure of support, for those who have my heart whenever they need it.

I look forward to each and every day I am awarded the privilege to be called upon. I love the smiles, the frowns. I love being witness to those I love the most, just being. I love being part of their conversation, part of their contemplations.

I was born to be a father, a grandfather. And on this Father's Day, and every Father's Day, the greatest gift I receive is just that.

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