Let Them Eat Cake (and Pizza)

So I attended the birthday party for my 3 year old grandson the other day. It was a combination of mayhem and, well, mayhem. Fun if you watched it all unfold at just the proper oblique angle. No children were hurt in the making of this film, which was in itself something of an accomplishment.

As the final act in this undertaking there was pizza and birthday cake served. To the children. I stood there in the corner of the room staring at all those little pizza slices placed in front of the assembled tiny people. The ones who, in significant percentage, did not ingest a morsel of this offered repast. While I was at the ready to devour an entire pie.

How long, I thought, must one wait before ambling over to the pizza box that contained slices that had not been doled out to members of society who didn't even know how to spell pizza and couldn't for the life of them pick out Italy on a map. I mean, I was hungry and maybe a little cranky after standing around for nearly two hours just waiting for the end of party meal to be served.

I was hoping another adult would make a mad dash for the remaining food before me, which would provide cover for my gluttony. And sure enough one of the fathers, after picking through the tray of little cheese squares untouched by the small guests, meandered over to partake of the main course.

So what if I ended up eating 3 pieces. I mean it was not like I was taking pizza from a baby. Ok, maybe technically I was. But I understood I was performing a godly purpose for it is a mortal sin to waste food. And who can blame me for accosting the person, theoretically delivering cake to the children, and grabbing a delicious looking specimen for myself. For I knew the kid before whom it would have otherwise been placed would have picked at it, maybe just eating the frosting or, worse, not eating the frosting at all.

I actually had a very good time at the party today. I just hope the hosts don't read this or my chances of being invited to next year's fourth birthday party for my grandson will likely be gone with the wind. Or more accurately, the pizza and cake.