Harryette

My mother in law passed away last evening, two days after her 97th birthday. She lived a long and wonderful life and died peacefully.

Who can honestly say they looked forward to spending time with their mother in law? Count me among those lucky few. My wife and I have been married for 47 years and I  cannot recall a single moment of unease or distress between my mother in law and me during that time. Maybe it was because, as my wife and I joked, my mother in law liked me better than her.

We reversed the normal parent-child dynamic. This was not mother and father chasing after their kid. No, shortly after our marriage, my wife and I moved to my in- laws home town. When later they relocated, we followed, not merely to a nearby locale, but to the same building.

And even though we kept barging in on my mother in law's territory, she never intruded on us. Always respectful of our space and, wholly unlike me, able to respect boundaries.

There were few things I loved more than our dinners every Tuesday in her apartment. Even deep into her 90's, she was preparing meals for my wife, me, quite often with our son in tow and any other family members who could be present.

She possessed an easy dignity, always ramrod straight of back, always looking well attended, always calm of temper.

I will miss my Tuesdays (and all other days) with my mother in law. I give thanks to her for making it so simple to be loved, so simple to love. I have been fortunate in my life to be surrounded by people who have showered their kindness and affection upon me. I don't know what I have done to deserve this. But I am forever grateful for it. 

And for her.