Donald Trump's Reply to the Subpoena Issued by the January 6th Committee

Dear former Vice President's back stabbing daughter and other witch hunt committee members:

Thanks so much for your lovely invitation for me to appear and clear up, once and for all, the misconceptions about my involvement in the party held at the Capitol on that beautiful day in January when the American people finally went to the window, leaned out and shouted "We're mad as Hell and we're not gonna take it anymore.”

Thanks but no thanks.

Remember when Supreme Court Justice Garland was nominated and elevated in 2016? No, because it didn't happen. That Democratic Congress was dead, it just didn't know it. Nothing, I mean nothing gets done against the will of the American voter. And on the first Tuesday of November. 2022 that loud voice you hear will be the public telling you to pack your bags, put your subpoenas where the sun doesn't shine, and with your tail firmly between your legs, go back to the hole from whence you came.

With all due respect, meaning none, you have wasted the paper on which your request to me was printed. As you have wasted your breath and your time. What have you accomplished other than keeping my name in the papers? For which you have my deepest gratitude.

Remember how Covid just dried up and blew away like a miracle one day? Just as I told you it would. Well, your Committee will soon be disappearing like a Houdini magic trick. As though it never even was.

I will let my counsel repeat my sentiments, couched in whys and wherefores, as my formal reply to your most gracious note. But let this be my unofficial, official retort.

I wish for you and yours everything you hope this subpoena will bring me. And oh, Liz say hello to your dad for me. And tell him he should take you duck hunting as soon as you are unemployed and have all that free time on your hands.