Dollars for Donny

Dollars for Donny.

$5 million here, $83 million there, now $355 million that is really much more. This is all starting to add up to some serious Monopoly money.

So Donny has reported having $400 million stuffed in his mattress. Raise your hand if you think he will part with his own moolah if push ever comes to shove. Neither do I.

Even as his $50 mill legal bills to date have been absorbed by a very super, super PAC or two, now he is turning to his legions to fill the coffers for him. Here is a sneak preview of what is to come.

"Brother can you spare a dime" will forevermore be known as “donations for Donny”. Make an orange faced man happy today. Break that piggy bank, take those monies you were putting aside for a vacation, for college for the kids, for your retirement, for your next AR-15. Make America great again by giving $10, $20, even $50 to "D is for Donny's destiny". Is there any cause as important as keeping the King in silk pajamas?

Don't make Donny beg. We want to reach our goal in 24 hours. And for your contribution of $100 you get a 30 second birthday message from Rudy Giuliani. For $250, George Santos will tell the world you were his favorite aunt and/or uncle. And for $500, Donny will call your Congressman and tell him to vote for that freeway running directly through a Democrat's backyard.

But don't delay. Even as we speak, "Dunces for Donny" has gone over $100 million in fully tax deductible contributions (because once Donny has started his third term in 2025 the IRS will be but a bad memory).

And if we raise a billion, and Donny pockets a few hundred million and gives a bunch to his kids for all their good deeds, Donny himself will give an incoherent two hour speech, rambling on about his golf game, questioning why is his palace not better than Putin's and bouncing on and off other burning issues of the day.

This is our country. This is Donny's hour of need. Reach into your pocket. Deeper. Still deeper. 

A single lucky donor will be flown down on one of Donny's jets to Florida to meet the man himself. Yes, spend an evening kissing his ring and shining his shoes. And, as an added bonus, should Donny be convicted and sentenced to jail in a trial still to come, you may have the immense honor of serving his time for him.

"Do it for Donny". Has America ever been greater than this?