Contributors to This Week's New Yorker

Thomas Stevensen ("Why Tuesday?", p.31), a former child turned adult, graduated somewhere in the middle of his high school class, loves chocolate and long walks in the park. He has had a series of jobs, but rather prefers not to tell you about any of them.

The person formerly known as ! ("A Treatise on the Separation of the Inner and Outer Being", also p.31), a former adult turned child, has never read the New Yorker. And doesn't plan on starting any time soon.

Wesley Swinton (The Talk of the Town, p.31 as well) is someone of substance. He can recite the names of all the U.S. Presidents in under 8 seconds.

Thomas Thurgood (yes, a second Thomas) (Fiction, p. 32 ) wouldn't allow us to edit a single word of his extremely lengthy piece. We apologize but we just had no other submissions.

Ian Frazier (Shouts and Murmurs p. 21), a staff writer, and yes, we know he is published here a lot. Like a real lot.

Donald Platt (Poem p.68), he too, like Ian, is a real person, a fine poet and a friend of mine so I thought I would give him a shout out.

Beth M. Bethany ("Your Name or Your Life", p.72), a graduate of an Ivy League college, but not one of those that George Santos attended, is very proud of her Alma Mater.

Cleveland Alexander ("While You Were Sleeping" p.3.5) once ate an entire meal while fully asleep and has driven 90 in a 55 zone without getting a ticket.

Harvey Musk ("Yes, Musk", not actually published here) has a brother with whom he speaks twice a week.

William Shakespeare (Poem, p.77), I just wanted to see if you were still paying attention.

Laurie, a/k/a Lori (Cover) has expressed an interest in meeting Cleveland Alexander. She speaks 1 language.

Albert Thompson (A Critic at Large, p.20 or 25 depending on where you live) went to 4 summer camps growing up. He has visited 12 states and hopes to add to that list in the very near future.