Another Candid Interview with the President

Dear Mr Trump:

Q: What is your proudest accomplishment in these historic first 100 days of your second, but certainly not last term?

A: Another golf championship

Q: Which cabinet appointee has been the most effective so far?

A: Matt Gaetz

Q: When do you see the Russia -Ukraine conflict being resolved?

A: As soon as I get my raw earth deal finalized

Q: What is your most important priority for the next 100 days?

A: Increasing the value of my cryptocurrency holdings

Q: Are you concerned about the possibility of a recession as a result of the tariffs you imposed?

A: You mean Biden's tariffs?

Q: You have just stated that you can obtain the release of Abrego Garcia from El Salvador but choose not to. Is this not in violation of a Supreme Court order?

A: Have you ever attended a protest anywhere for any reason, eaten Chinese food since I put a 145 percent tariff on egg rolls or watched Severance and didn't know whether to root for the innies or the outies?

Q: When you are gone, what do you most want to be remembered for?

A: Being able to rise above my childhood poverty

Q: Are you happy with what Elon Musk has done with DOGE?

A: I get a cut of every Tesla Cyber truck sale so what's not to like.

Q. With the death of the Pope, a new leader will soon be chosen. Do you have any favorite and why?

A. I like them all. It would be wrong for me to pick out one passage, I mean one person. And the cardinals are all wearing red, the color of the MAGA hat. I know they are dressed like that in honor of me.

Q. And finally, I want to thank you for your time and your most astute responses. Do you have any words of encouragement for those who may be struggling and fearful these days?

A. Hang in there, ICE will be coming to get you soon and you will have wonderful accommodations and make lots of new friends before you know it.