A View from Here

Frank Bruni Newsletter of 12/19 (on a personal note)

Dear Mr. Bruni,

Congratulations on turning 60. I have more than a decade additional time on this planet and now offer what 72 years swimming upstream looks like.

Foremost, the realities of death becomes far more than table talk and conjecture. Our parents are now gone. We are next in the pecking order of those to be discussed in the past tense. Our invulnerability lost in a tsunami of death and illness of our contemporaries. Siblings, spouses, best friends no more or residing in that diminished state we witnessed from afar until recent days. It is the stripping of the cellophane layer between what was once dim outline in the distance and what now resides in our laps.

Retirement, or contemplations of retirement, now a staple of my conversation. "Should I or shouldn't I" the ponderous question of the moment. "How will I fill my day" an issue to wrestle with in a heavyweight contest of the mind. Is there a winner here?

The friends and family plan takes on even greater import. New significant relationships fewer and further apart. What you have, who you have is paramount. Making sure to hold those close to you closer, to do not merely what is expected for others but what is unexpected, to give not merely with your head but your heart. Each day, each hour, each conversation entered and those you don't, with an intensity that didn't exist a decade earlier. Not urgent but definitely heading in that direction.

I grew up with the default understanding that everyone was innately good. That the underlying predicate was not to find disappointment in those one encountered along the way but, given time, to locate a beating heart that had kindness and a moral compass at its core. That perception has diminished dramatically as I have been witness to far too much cruelty, far too many instances of depraved indifference to believe in my own fairy tale any longer.

But I do not mean this as a screed on advancing age and the view from here. I feel greatly and forever blessed. I have been given a wonderful spouse forgiving of my endless inadequacies and trespasses, children I adore and in whom I find qualities that I admire without end, grandchildren who have captured every fiber of my heart and who thrill me with every smile they give, every silly conversation we have, every time they call me Papa a song that captures my soul. I have many friendships that have remained intact since before you, Mr. Bruni, were even a future consideration. I believe, I hope, I have an ever greater appreciation for the gifts bestowed upon me. I know I have been very fortunate and forever lucky.

So, Mr. Bruni, happy 60 on Halloween. Hopefully you trick or treated your day away. Filled with candy and care. Ready to embrace the years ahead, the matters and people that matter most. Because nothing matters more.

Very truly yours,

The 70 plus club